


Carrying On

by audhds



Series: Determined To Carry On [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Although He Can Be A Dollophead, Angst, Arthur Isn't Really A Prat, Arthur Saves the Day, BAMF Merlin, Child Merlin, Cute, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Like how can little Merlin not be cute?!, Protective Arthur, young Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-16 01:05:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10560782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audhds/pseuds/audhds
Summary: Sequel to 'Determined To Carry On.' Things are looking up for Merlin, he has settled in with Gaius, is serving Arthur and has been taken on his first, eventful patrol. However, when Merlin is attacked and kidnapped, dark truths are revealed, plots to break Uther unfurl and Merlin is thrown into a frenzy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoy this sequel. Updates will be every day from Monday onwards :)

Merlin was grinning widely, drawing in the sights and smells around him. Trees were rushing past him as he bounced up and down on a pure white horse, Arthur sitting behind him with one arm wrapped around the child. The smell of damp earth was blissfully fresh in comparison to Gaius' stuffy chambers and Merlin was incredibly thankful that Arthur had eventually agreed to take him on patrol that day with the other knights. He was having the time of his life. Gwaine was galloping ahead waving his arms and singing gleefully;

_I am sir Gwaine the gallant knight,_

_Riding through forests with great delight,_

_Barmaids and courtiers would fall to their knees,_

_If they ever saw someone as handsome as me!_

Percival and Arthur exchanged dark looks when Gwaine began to improvise another verse, something about the tavern and a woman called Rosemary, but Merlin was humming along cheerfully enjoying the break in the monotonous silence. Gwaine was unperturbed and continued on, ignoring the metaphorical daggers that Percival was throwing at him.

_And any woman who spends time with me,_

_Will be grateful and happy, dancing with glee,_

_Because I am sir Gwaine, gallant and handsome,_

_Brave enough to hold a huge thug at ransom!_

 

_So be you blonde or brunette, dark or fair,_

_If you want a good time, you need me there,_

_If mead is on offer we'll have a great time,_

_Because I am handsome….bugger that doesn't rhyme..._

The others burst out laughing at Gwaine's failed attempt to end his song, clearly Gwaine didn't notice that he had inadvertently rhymed time with rhyme, but they did not inform him. He didn't need an excuse to be any more big headed!

"Are you going to be quiet up now?" Arthur smiled, relishing in the short moment of silence.

"What, we all know you love my singing Princess!" Merlin burst out laughing at Arthur's pet-name and was rewarded with a sharp poke in the side.

"Hey!" He turned around and scowled at Arthur, but failed to pull off an angry look, he was far too cute and his eyes too bright and wide to be threatening.

"Anyway, my song wasn't that bad considering I made that up on the spot! You are just jealous of my many talents!"

"Oh really, somehow I think that…" Arthur was suddenly cut off by a loud battle cry coming from his left. He immediately sprung into action, dismounting his horse, pulling Merlin onto the ground, shoving him behind a bush and drawing out his sword in one swift motion. Merlin grumbled in protestation but kept his head down, wincing when he watched Arthur take on three bandits at once. Gwaine was fiercely battling a huge dark haired brute and Percival was looking bored whilst attacking two more men.

Everything seemed to be going well for Camelot's knights, Arthur had already killed two of his opponents and the third had a deep gash in his shoulder. Gwaine had already overpowered the hulk of a man and had taken on one of Percival's opponents, grinning at his friend as they passed weapons between them, jumping back and avoiding jabs almost gracefully.

Merlin was still huddled behind his bush, eyes wide and breath quick. He thought it would soon be safe for him to come out when his face contorted with fear. Behind Arthur were at least twenty more oncoming men, the knights were well and truly outnumbered. Standing up quickly Merlin moved forward to see if he could help, the colour draining from his face when he saw Arthur being knocked to the floor by another bandit brandishing a star spiked mace. Gwaine was also backed up against a tree and Percival had been thrown to the ground by four bandits, one of whom was snarling with a sword biting into Percival's neck. Merlin could see a small cut on the knight's neck, a rivulet of blood trickling down his armor.

Anger blared through the child and he thought back to his spell book, remembering a spell that he had only used once.

"TERGUM" Merlin screamed the spell at the top of his voice and grinned when all of the bandits flew back against the ground unconscious. Arthur looked up through bleary eyes, he was clinging on to his chest and grunted in pain when he managed to stand. However, he quickly forgot his own pain when he saw Merlin swaying with exertion. He had never performed such powerful magic and it had cost him a lot of energy. The boy however ignored this fact and sprinted over to Arthur, pulling off his armor the way George taught him, being incredibly careful and gentle.

Despite Merlin's best efforts Arthur groaned, wincing and biting down on his lip. He had to stay strong. Merlin had summoned some strange leaves over and was currently chewing them into a thick paste and after he had vanished away most of the blood he spat it out and rubbed it into Arthur's chest. Rolling over slightly Arthur gagged, the pain was unbearable, he had probably faced worse but at the moment his eyes were stinging and his body was protesting. It was taking all his willpower to prevent his body from emptying the contents of his stomach.

Percival and Gwaine came over, Percival rubbing his throat subconsciously and supporting a limping Gwaine.

"T-thank you Merlin! You really saved our skin." Merlin smiled weakly and began to mutter spells under his breath until Arthur's breathing evened out and the pain had almost vanished, reduced to a dull throbbing. He noticed that his hands were shaking so stuffed them in his pockets.

"Gwaine, are you hurt?" Sharp as ever, Merlin had noted Gwaine's limp and moved over to the ragged knight. Although Gwaine was trying to hide it Merlin could sense that he was in a lot of pain, the wide grin had been wiped from his face and the knight was much paler than usual.

"Nothing too bad…"

"Don't lie to me!" Merlin scowled when the knight tried to conceal the truth from him, too many people had lied to him in the past, saying everything was alright when in reality everything was far from ok.

"Really Merlin, it doesn't hurt too much."

Merlin's brows furrowed further as he watched Gwaine grit his teeth.

"Let me see!"

"Fine." Gwaine reluctantly allowed Percival to let him down and pulled up his trouser leg to reveal a blackened ankle.

"That definitely can't be called not too bad. It is broken." With a momentary flash of gold Gwaine's ankle snapped back into place and the bruising vanished, causing the knight to scream in agony.

"Ah- Merlin couldn't you have numbed it first?"

"No, I haven't got the hang of that spell. Last time I tried Gaius complained that he couldn't feel his toes for a week!"

"Well that's just brilliant!" Gwaine began to grumble under his breath but Merlin took no notice, muttering the same spells as he had used on Arthur until Gwaine's facial muscles relaxed and the pain had been banished. Now, Merlin's hands were shaking even more and his vision was going slightly fuzzy, he had ignored his bodies' protests and had continued using magic, ignoring the warning signs that all was not well.

The knights, now free of pain, went back to their horses and thanked their lucky stars that Merlin had been around to save them. The boy had been awfully quiet, yawning widely and looking pale. He seemed to be more worse-for-wear than they were. The knights decided it would be best if they turned around and headed back to Camelot for all of their sakes.

When they were 30 miles away from Camelot's gates everything went to hell. They had all thought that they had faced enough bandits for one day, but clearly the fates disagreed. The odds were not in their favour. Arthur visibly paled when he saw at least 40 bandits, some seemingly the same as those they had faced earlier. They must have finally woken up and gathered more men. Gwaine swore under his breath and dismounted, immediately joining Percival who was at loggerheads with five men at once.

"There's too many of them!" Arthur realised with horror that there was no way three knights would be able to take on these men, it was over ten-to-one and they didn't stand a chance. However, that statistic did not take Merlin into account, and despite Arthur's constant insistence that Merlin was a woman's petticoat or a wimp; he was far stronger than even he knew. With another burst of energy the three knights found themselves being pulled through the air, collapsing to the ground by Merlin's feet. When they looked up they saw the world through a shimmering veil. By the looks of things Merlin had cast an invisible, bubble-shaped force field around them, which was iridescent and shimmering in the sunlight. The bandits were all staring at each other stunned and the knights could hear muffled shouts.

"Sorcery!"

"…using magic."

"Kill…"

"Can't get through… what should I do?" The knights looked in amazement at Merlin, who was trembling violently and looked close to collapse. His brows were furrowed, his breath heavy, his tongue poking the corner of his mouth. Merlin had curled both his hands into fists and he was tapping his foot on the floor, deep in concentration. Arthur quickly went over to the boy who had begun to sway and sat him down on his own lap. He gently stroked the child's sweat-drenched hair and squeezed one of his hands comfortingly. Merlin took up a vice-like grip on Arthur's hand and let out a low groan.

"Keep at it Merlin. You are doing really well. They will give up and leave us alone soon, just a little longer." Merlin grimaced and did not reply, he was almost completely breathless, gasping in air desperately. He buried his head into Arthur's shoulder and closed his eyes. Gwaine pulled out his water skein and pressed it to the child's lips, gently tilting it to encourage Merlin to drink; with his other hand he rubbed the boy's back in small circles.

"You are doing really well. Well done. Just a bit longer. I am right here for you. You can do this." Arthur continued to quietly reassure the boy, his voice low and quiet so that Merlin could focus on the spell.

"C-can't." Merlin slumped down further into Arthur's arms and Arthur began to cuddle him tighter.

"Yes you can. Yes you can! I believe in you Merlin." Merlin gasped at the effort maintaining the spell was causing him. His body felt like it was on fire and an unbearable ache had taken hold of him.

"H-Hurts." Merlin was in so much pain that he had begun to stutter again, a habit that he had just about managed to kick now that he had settled down in Camelot and felt relatively safe.

"I know Merlin. Just breathe for me." Merlin had begun to cry softly and Arthur saw in horror that the bubble surrounding them had receded slightly when one of the bandits had bought a sword down on to it.

"M-make it stop!" Arthur sighed and pressed his lips to the child's forehead to try and offer a bit more comfort, there was nothing else he could do. The knights formed a protective ring around Merlin and all offered him whatever support they could.

Percival was frowning deeply, eyeing the bandits, who appeared to be finally giving up.

"They're going." Arthur, Gwaine and Merlin all looked up and smiled when they saw the bandits retreat, and when they were well out of sight Merlin allowed the protective bubble to disappear.

In all of the commotion the horses had run away so they would have to walk back. Gwaine and Percival stood up first, Gwaine gently lifting Merlin to his feet so that Arthur could rise.

"Come on Merlin, not far now." Merlin wobbled precariously on his feet but dragged himself forward a few steps. He let out a small grunt when the effort got too much and wiped the sweat from his face. He managed to continue walking for about 10 minutes before he began to fall behind. Linking hands with the boy, Arthur slowed down slightly and felt concern wash over him when he felt how clammy the child was. Percival had also seen how weak Merlin was and moved forward, eyes asking for permission from Arthur to carry the boy. Arthur gave him a small nod and Percival scooped Merlin up in one arm. He was still ridiculously light and skinny despite all he ate and Arthur was convinced that Merlin had hollow legs. The child was now dozing and all of the knights looked exhausted.

"Sire, do you think we should set up camp? It is getting dark and it's clear that Merlin can't carry on much longer, he needs food and rest. Those spells clearly cost him a lot, he healed both me and you, knocked out those bandits before and then kept that bubble thing going for ages." Gwaine was looking concernedly at Percival, who with the added, if minimal weight of Merlin, was slowing down. He knew that they all needed to stop soon before someone collapsed.

Arthur looked miserable, they were so close, but eventually he listened to the voice of reason and agreed. Percival settled Merlin down against a tree and began to collect firewood with Arthur whilst Gwaine kept a close eye on the child and began to prepare some rabbit that he had in his bag. Once a roaring fire was raging and the rabbit had been cooked Arthur walked softly over to Merlin and shook him gently.

"Merlin, you have to wake up now."

"W-what. Tired. Sleeping." Merlin turned his head away again and almost immediately dozed of.

"Merlin." Merlin jerked awake and scowled.

"Leave me a-a-alone." Merlin yawned widely mid sentence and glared at Arthur.

"You need to get your strength up and eat."

"Mmm…" Merlin accepted the rabbit he was handed and ate it quietly. Half an hour passed and the others had all fallen asleep and Merlin soon followed suit. As soon as he fell asleep he was plagued with nightmares about his mother, Arthur and bandits. He woke with a start and tried to get comfortable again, but the ground seemed harder than usual and there was a rock digging into his side. Merlin silently stood up and made his way over to Arthur, dragging his blanket with him. He cautiously settled against the Prince and nuzzled his face into the older man, breathing in his comforting scent.

Arthur felt a source of warmth pressed up against him and when he opened his eyes he saw Merlin's pale face staring straight at him.

"Merlin, why are you awake? Get some sleep." Arthur groaned and blinked some of the sleep out of his eyes.

"I kept having nightmares."

"Oh… Um…"

"Can I have a hug?" Merlin sounded uncertain and was relieved when Arthur cuddled him gently. They lay in silence for a while, Merlin clinging onto Arthur's shirt, an action which made him feel slightly more grounded.

"Arthur?"

"Yes?"

"Why do bad things always happen to me?" Arthur was slightly startled by this question and didn't know what to say.

"Um, I can't answer that. But things will get better, I am sure of that!" Merlin nodded and immediately accepted Arthur's answer.

"Ok."

"Merlin you should try to get some sleep."

"Will you stay with me? I don't want to sleep on my own, it is too dark."

"Of course, you can sleep here with me." Arthur sighed internally but decided that for once he wouldn't be selfish.

"Arthur, I'm scared."

"There is nothing to be afraid of Merlin. Just get some sleep." Arthur rolled over slightly and felt a twig crack beneath his weight, emanating a loud snapping noise. He felt Merlin jump next to him and tightened his grip around the boy.

"Sleep Merlin. I will look after you." With another small nod Merlin wriggled slightly and soon fell asleep next to Arthur, who gave him a quick kiss and drifted off as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Percival woke with a start from his watch, thanking his lucky stars that there had not been an attack whilst he was sleeping. He rubbed his eyes blearily and grabbed his sword, which had been lying by his side, just in reach. He never slept without it. The sword acted like his comfort blanket, offering protection from the outside world, although he would never admit this. Glancing around he smiled softly at the sight in front of him, most often people thought that he had no feelings, that he was just a gruff loner, but the reality was much different. Despite his towering physique he often felt vulnerable, attacked by his inner demons almost as frequently as by his outer ones.

This morning however he had not woken up alone and afraid, he had woken up surrounded by his friends and viewing Arthur and Merlin curled up, fast asleep. Arthur had one arm wrapped around the child; the other was resting limply on his sword. It was rare to see Arthur look so relaxed and peaceful; when he was asleep his face showed that the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Merlin too looked peaceful; he was curled up in a tiny ball with his mouth wide open, wrapped up tightly in a blanket and Arthur's cloak. There was a small trail of drool dripping down his chin and the child was sniffling softly. Percival made his way over, remarkably quietly for a man of his stature. He gently took hold of Arthur's shoulders, stepping back immediately to avoid the fist that was coming his way.

"Morning."

"Mghthh!" Arthur grumbled something unintelligible and grimaced, unwrapping his arm from around Merlin and sitting up. He carefully shifted away so as not to wake the child and stood up, far from gracefully. Both he and Percival exchanged looks and grinned, stalking towards a snoring Gwaine. Percival silently pulled out his water skein and in one fluid movement he emptied the entire contents onto Gwaine's face.

"Mmmm…WHAT…OI!" Gwaine leapt to his feet staring around wildly and brandishing his sword.

"Shut up Gwaine you'll wake Merlin."

"Shut up Gwaine you'll wake Merlin my hat, if you didn't want me to shout you could have woken me up nicely. Would a simple, 'it's morning Gwaine,' or 'morning handsome,' have hurt?"

"Yes." Arthur and Percival muffled their sniggers in their armor and teared-up when they saw Gwaine flicking his shaggy hair around like a dog.

"You Princess, are a prat. And Percival you are a complete…"

"That will be enough of that, we need to pack up." All three knights immediately set about putting out the fire, packing up the sleeping rolls and gathering berries for breakfast. When they were all ready to set off Arthur went over to Merlin, who was still fast asleep and mumbling peacefully.

"Merlin, wake up Merlin." Merlin snuffled and rolled over, curling up into a tighter ball and groaning.

"Merlin!" This time Merlin peeled his eyes open and stared up at Arthur, his piercing blue eyes searching his face.

"I was sleeping." He yawned widely and pouted slightly.

"I know Merlin, that was the problem. We need to go now." Merlin raised his eyebrow in a very Gaius-esque manner and stumbled to his feet. Arthur carefully bit back his smirk and ruffled the child's already messy hair. He handed Merlin his portion of berries and they set off, Merlin humming softly and staring around at all of the wildlife. He occasionally bent down to pick some pretty flowers and on one occasion he coaxed over a rabbit and began to cuddle it. The knights stared in amazement, rabbits always ran away from them but the boy seemed to have a close affinity with nature. Then again, whenever they chased rabbits they were armed with arrows, this rabbit probably sensed that the child had no intention of butchering it and putting it in a stew.

"Merlin, put that rabbit down, you do not know where it has been!"

"It has been in the woods, obviously."

"That's not the point, put it down." Merlin grumbled but put down the rabbit with one last stroke. He then silently began to trudge after the knights, there was still a good 5 hour walk ahead of them and he was already tired, his body had not yet fully recovered and he felt the energy draining out of him rapidly. This was rather disconcerting for the boy, he was usually running around after the prince and carrying out chores, helping Gaius collect herbs, assists Gwen when she was carrying the laundry, playing with the knights or keeping Morgana company. He was not used to feeling so weak.

"Are we nearly there yet Arthur?"

"No."

"What about now?"

"No Merlin, we still have a long way to go, it has only been half and hour."

"How much further."

"About 4 hours."

"But you said we were only 5 hours away when we were at camp!"

"Yes, I know Merlin. We have only been walking for an hour."

"Arthur?"

"What?"

"I am tired."

"3 more hours and you can go to bed."

"Arthur?"

"Merlin, will you just put up and shut up! You are driving me mad. Stop being such a girl's petticoat!"

Merlin flinched back at Arthur's irritated tone and felt his eyes water. He allowed himself to fall back a bit and ignored Gwaine and Percival's pitying looks. Balling his hands into fists Merlin bit down on his lip and continued to walk. An hour later and he felt his legs wobbling beneath him, he was a good twenty paces behind everyone else now, the dizziness was overwhelming and he felt incredibly lightheaded. There was a strange ringing noise in his ears and there were black spots in front of his eyes. Merlin was sure he was about to be sick and was about to call out to Arthur when he remembered Arthur's cruel words. "Just put up and shut up!" Merlin sighed, he didn't want to upset or annoy Arthur so decided not to say anything, and he only made it another five steps before he lost consciousness.

Arthur and the knights heard a muffled thud and whipped around, they exchanged worried looks before sprinting towards Merlin, who had crumpled into a messy heap, his limbs sprawled out underneath him and his mouth was wide open in a silent cry of shock.

"Merlin? Merlin can you hear me? Wake up Merlin." Arthur carefully lifted the child up into a sitting position and spoke to him in a falsely calm voice. His insides were churning; a sense of overwhelming guilt and fear had taken hold of him. He should have listened to Merlin, he said he was tired and Arthur had just been his usual conceited self and ignored him.

"Merlin, please wake up!" Arthur tried and failed to keep the desperation out of his voice and let out an audible gasp of relief when Merlin opened his eyes. Merlin's piercing blue eyes took a while to focus and he looked extremely confused, glancing around and wondering how he had gotten on the floor.

"Arthur?"

"It's alright Merlin. I have you, you're alright. How are you feeling?" Merlin scowled slightly.

"I'm tired. I already told you but…" Merlin stopped mid-sentence and turned away from Arthur, his eyes welling up at the injustice of his situation.

"I know. I am sorry. I was a complete prat. I should have listened to you. Although, you should have told me that you felt like you were about to faint."

Gwaine stepped forward with some berries and placed them into Merlin's clammy hands.

"Eat those; it will make you feel better."

"Ok." Merlin ate quietly and some of the colour returned to his face. He allowed Percival to silently pick him up and found himself resting his head weakly on the knight's shoulder.

"Get some sleep Merlin." Merlin didn't need telling twice...well, he didn't really need telling once considering the fact that he was already fast asleep in Percival's arms.

Arthur looked uncomfortably down at his hands and sighed.

"I was too harsh oh him, wasn't I?"

Percival and Gwaine looked awkwardly at each other and gave a small nod when Arthur prompted them for an answer.

"I will make up for it later; maybe I will buy him a new jacket or something." Arthur silently formulated plans for how to make things up with Merlin, constantly turning around to check that the child was still sleeping peacefully on Percival. When Camelot's gate finally came into focus he let out a sigh of relief and took Merlin off of Percival. The child did not stir all the way to Gaius' chambers.

Gaius looked up in relief when he saw the price enter, but his face soon fell when he saw a pale Merlin breathing heavily in the prince's arms.

"What happened?" Gaius beckoned for Arthur to carry the child into his room and bustled in after them. Arthur looked incredibly guilty as he began to explain everything that had happened.

"We were attacked by bandits, twice. Merlin knocked back a load of the men to help us out and used a lot of magic to heal both me and Gwaine. I was hit by a mace and Gwaine broke his ankle but Merlin mended us in seconds. Then, during the second attack we were outnumbered, so he conjured up some kind of force field around us and kept it up for ages. We could see at the time that it was draining him; Merlin was shaking really badly and looked close to collapse. Anyway, when the bandits gave up we set up camp and let him sleep in before walking back. He kept complaining that he was tired but I eventually told him to shut up. I didn't mean it really but he was getting on our nerves, he was clearly feeling unwell and ended up fainting." Gaius raised his eyebrow to all new heights and Arthur found himself wondering how it was possible for the kind old man to look so threatening.

"Didn't he say that he felt unwell?"

"No, he took it really personally when I told him to stop complaining, so he did just that until he collapsed. Percival carried him back for the last few hours and Merlin slept through the whole journey, he still hasn't woken up." Gaius nodded and set about tucking his ward in.

"Will he be alright Gaius?"

"Yes, he is only young and using that much magic would have left him completely exhausted. He just needs some sleep and food, he will be fine."

"Thank goodness, I will give him the next few days off. Please notify me when he wakes." Arthur turned and fled the room; he couldn't bear Gaius' pained looks any longer.

Gaius turned back to his ward and smiled fondly, he had thought that at his age he had experienced everything he needed and wanted in life. He had a good career, enough money to get by and numerous friends. However, there was one thing he had never had, a son or daughter to love. The day that Merlin had been carried into his chambers Gaius had felt a huge hole in his heart being filled, he finally had a child to love, nurture and cherish and Gaius treasured every moment of his new life. He was glad that his chambers would soon be filled with the sound of smashing objects, muttered spells and laughter; it was far too quiet without Merlin around. Of course, Gaius also felt a massive sense of relief as he would no longer have to look after Gertrude. His last attempt of feeding her had ended with himself nearly being bitten, her being poked by a stick and a lot of cursing and insults including, "you stupid piece of rope, you try and bite me again and I will tie you in a knot." At least Merlin would be able to look after her again now that he was back!

Merlin slept soundly for the next two days, only waking long enough to be fed some stew, drink, bathe or go to the toilet. On the third day Merlin finally felt less tired and was actually sitting up in his bed chatting to Gaius when Arthur entered the room.

"Morning Merlin, I heard that you woke up and thought I would give you this." Arthur perched on the edge of Merlin's bed and handed him a package.

"What is it?"

"That would be telling."

"Why have you got me a present?" Merlin looked genuinely confused and Arthur felt his heart constrict with guilt.

"Because I was mean to you, and you didn't deserve it. I wanted to make up with you."

"Oh, I don't mind. I already forgave you ages ago!" Arthur smiled at this and gently motioned to the package. Merlin turned his attention to his present and tore of the paper excitedly, gasping when he saw a brand new brown jacket. Immediately pulling it on he discovered that it fitted him perfectly and was incredibly warm and comfortable.

"Thank you!"

"That's alright. Friends?"

"Friends."

"Do you feel up to coming back to work tomorrow?" Merlin glanced quickly at Gaius who was bustling around folding his new jacket. The old man gave him a small nod and Merlin grinned.

"Yes, are you going to train tomorrow?"

"Wanna practice some sword fighting with me?"

"Yeah!!! Please!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't forget to let me know what you think <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :D Just a few warnings for the mistreatment/abuse of a child by a secondary character. It is all canon typical violence, but I thought I'd warn y'all know :)

Merlin woke up early the next morning and immediately washed and dressed, being especially careful when pulling on his new jacket. He set about making himself and Gaius breakfast before knocking softly on Gaius' door and entering.

"Morning Gaius. I made breakfast for you!" Gaius yawned and rolled over to face Merlin, who looked far better, his face was no longer deathly pale and he seemed to be wide awake.

"Good morning my boy, I see that you are feeling better."

"Much better thank you, I need to go now, see you later." Merlin turned around, shutting the door carefully behind him before running through Camelot's square and over to Arthur's chambers. As per usual he burst through the door without knocking.

"Rise and shine."

"Can't you think of anything new to say?" Arthur grunted loudly, rolled over to face the boy and forced himself to sit up.

"What?" Merlin looked around confused, halfway through throwing the curtains open.

"Every morning it's the same thing." Arthur had taken on his whining I-am-the-future-king tone and looked like he wanted to hit something.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Merlin's sarcastic tone suggested that he was anything but sorry, although Arthur decided to ignore this.

"How about shake a leg. Up and at 'em. Let's have you lazy daisy…" Merlin's voice trailed off when he realised how pathetic his last suggestion was, "no, you don't like any of them do you?"

"No." Merlin immediately dodged the goblet and clothes that were flung at him, a skill that he had now perfected, and began to pick up some of the clothes on Arthur's floor.

"So what are we doing today?"

"Training, training, training and some more training. Oh, and there is a banquet tonight, you will be needed in the kitchens later, I will let you go at around 4."

"A banquet, that sounds good! Why is there going to be a banquet?"

"King Bayard of Mercia is visiting, we are hosting a banquet to welcome him and make sure he feels at home. You will need to be on your best behaviour, and act like you are not a completely incompetent servant." Merlin huffed at the last statement, even though he knew that it was not meant in a mean way.

"Clotpole."

"Idiot."

"Cabbage head!"

"Total bufoo…hang on did you just call me a cabbage head?" This time Merlin was not quite so lucky with the goblet dodging and was knocked to the floor. He stood up and brushed his clothes off with as much dignity as possible before carrying on with his long list of chores and staring daggers at Arthur.

When Merlin was finally dismissed and told to go to the kitchens he let out an audible sigh of relief, Arthur had really piled on the chores and seemed on edge. He had even injured his arm during training, normally he was never hit. Merlin had tried to cheer him up but eventually accepted his losses and carried on working in silence, glancing over at George on occasion and receiving apologetic, he-can-be-a-bit-moody-at-times looks.

Merlin had been put in charge of laying the tables with Gwen and half-a-dozen other servants. They all worked in complete silence, concentrating hard on not making any mistakes. Merlin had laid out all of the cutlery, making sure that everything was in the right place, that the knives, forks and spoons were all exactly one centimetre away from each other and that they were at a perfect 90° angle to the table edge. Gwen then admired his work and checked that everything was in order, giving him a quick hug when she announced that it was perfect.

Another servant entered the room with a large pile of uniforms and Merlin was then handed a beautiful shirt with the Camelot crest embroidered on the chest and a brand new pair of black trousers. They were both made out of fine materials and Merlin knew that it must have cost a fortune to have such extravagant outfits made for everyone. Uther was clearly trying to impress their visitor. He hurried back to Gaius' chambers and pulled on his new clothes and bundled up to Gaius for the old man's opinion.

"What do you think?"

"You look very handsome my boy, you will have all the maids after you." Merlin grinned at this and flushed a light shade of crimson, emphasising his prominent cheekbones.

"Thank you Gaius, I need to go now, I have to serve Arthur and the royals wine, oh I really hope I don't spill anything. What would they do if I did spill something, would they kill me?" Merlin looked genuinely worried and Gaius gave him a reassuring smile.

"No Merlin, they would not kill you for spilling wine, although I would not recommend it!"

"Oh, good. Well, wish me luck!"

"Good luck my boy! Enjoy yourself and just remember all of the etiquette I taught you."

"Yes Gaius. Bye."

"Goodbye my boy." Merlin hurried out of the chambers and soon took his position behind the royal table, with a large pouring jug of red wine. Soon all of the courtiers and the kings themselves walked in and Merlin had to force his mouth closed. Everyone looked spectacular, the women decked out in pure silk gowns in vibrant shades of green, red, blue and purple. They looked incredible and Merlin couldn't help but awestruck in their presence. Uther made his speech and soon the room was full of servants rushing around plating up the roast meat and other delicacies, and Merlin had been summoned to pour wine at least twelve times. His hands were shaking with nerves but so far everything had gone really well, he hadn't spilt anything yet, or tripped up or pulled one of his other infamous Merlin-stunts. 

Arthur had even given him a reassuring smile and Morgana squeezed his hand lightly when she saw that he was shaking. Merlin even had the honour of serving Bayard wine and the king had dipped his head in acknowledgement of him, which caused Merlin to flush again. The banquet was over far too quickly for Merlin's taste, he could have quite happily watched all of the courtiers for hours. The smells, laughter, beauty and chatter overwhelmed his senses and Merlin was having the time of his life. There was even the promise of some leftovers coming his way and Merlin was incredibly eager to sample some of the chicken!

Once all of the courtiers had left the servants were left with the gargantuan task of cleaning up and it was another two hours until Merlin was given a plate of chicken and dismissed. He was absolutely exhausted and had made it halfway through the rabbit-warren of corridors when he saw two figures clothed in black conversing. This struck Merlin as being odd, everyone else had left hours ago and yet these men seemed to be making no move. Merlin ignored the voice of reason in his mind that told him to leave the men well alone and he crept forward to eavesdrop.

"Tomorrow…"

"Finally destroy him…"

"…Uther".

"….break him…."

"…use her."

"…never suspect…"

"Poisoned…"

"…by his own hatred."

Merlin could only hear parts of what the men were saying, but it soon became clear that they meant no good. Plucking up his courage Merlin cleared his throat and walked forward, all sense of caution thrown to the wind.

"What are you talking about? I will report you if you are … doing something bad." Merlin finished off his sentence rather lamely but kept his head up and his shoulders back, speaking in a self assured tone.

"What have we here?" The first man turned around and Merlin felt a shiver of fear run up his spine, the man was huge with black greasy hair stubble and a very threatening demeanour. There were numerous scars littering his face and his temple was pulsing in anger.  
That, however, was not what scared Merlin the most, that would be the man's eyes. They were as dark as midnight, completely cold and they seemed to stare right into Merlin's soul. The man snarled and took a step closer to the young boy.

"I'm Merlin, and if you d-don't tell me what you are doing then I will tell the king!" Merlin took a step backwards despite himself; he could feel the man's putrid breath against his face and turned away slightly.

"Oh will you now?" It was the turn of the second man to round on Merlin; he too had piercing eyes and was, if possible, even larger than his companion. His face was soft and he appeared to be younger, yet he had an air of dominance about him and was equally threatening.

"Yes. I will." Merlin was beginning to regret his decision but stood firm, these men would not intimidate him in his home. Suddenly the first man lunged forward and grabbed Merlin's arm, squeezing so hard that Merlin could feel his skin bruising almost instantly.

"Let me go. LET ME GO!" Merlin dropped his plate of chicken and struggled ferociously, beginning to scream in the hope that someone would hear him and raise the alarm. It soon became clear that there was no one in the vicinity and Merlin tried his hardest to fight the rising panic. The black-haired man moved his other hand to Merlin's mouth to shut him up and Merlin gnashed wildly in an attempt to bite him, though he could not get the angle right.

"If I were you, I would stay very still and would not make a sound." The man leant in and drew out a dagger, placing it against Merlin's lips, he had shifted position so that he was holding Merlin around his neck and with his other hand he shoved a dirty rag into Merlin's mouth whilst still threatening him with the blade. Merlin snarled at the man and ignored his warning, struggling even more than before. Immediately the man's calm and calculated expression turned into one of rage, he lashed out and made a deep cut on Merlin's cheek, which followed the scar line that Merlin had received whilst refusing to help Cenred's men. Merlin shrieked in pain as he felt the blade go deeper than anything he had experienced before, right down to the muscle. The pain was blinding and Merlin's vision went fuzzy. He let out an agonized scream which was muffled and unheard due to the rag. Why wasn't anyone coming to his aid? Couldn't they sense his fear and pain? The agony and terror seemed so strong and overwhelming that Merlin was sure that his emotions were tangible. Couldn't anyone else feel it?

Out of all the times that he could be hurt, it would be when there was nobody about to save him.

He turned away from the blood-soaked blade, which was hovering close enough to strike again and he saw the second man was watching the events unfold with his arms crossed and a blank expression. Merlin could feel the blood and tears streaming down his face and swallowed down the bile that had risen up his throat.

"You have just made your second mistake. You should have listened to me. You will soon learn that if you value your pathetic little life you should not make me angry." With that Merlin was hoisted into the air and pressed up against the wall, his feet dangling in thin air, only held up by the man's grip around his throat. He gasped desperately for air through the rag and through his nose but could feel his throat being constricted.

The man then moved his other hand to Merlin's nose and pinched hard. Merlin flailed weakly as his brain began to shut down. He needed air. He couldn't breath. He was going to die. The man's fingers were closing in tighter and tighter, and Merlin felt his airways completely close. Merlin searched within himself for his magic but could not focus; it was tantalisingly close but just out of reach. Thoughts of Gaius, Will, Gwen, Morgana, Arthur and his mother spun around his mind for around 12 second's as he struggled violently. He had let them down. These men were plotting against the king and there was nothing he could not to help or prevent it. His body was spasming wildly and his vision was spinning. 

Merlin experienced just another second of agony before everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think - I promise that things will look up soon :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support so far :D

When Merlin awoke his senses were immediately assaulted, the room he was in was pitch black and smelt like rot and decomposing meat. He could feel a familiar throbbing sensation in his cheek and his neck was aching like mad making it hard to draw in oxygen - every breath came out as a rasping gasp.

Merlin tried to move his hands, they felt strangely numb for some reason, and that is when it hit him.

He was manacled to a wall, which is why his feet were not touching the ground - he was only supported by his skinny wrists. Merlin's arms were aching from the strain of holding his body up and he could feel blood trickling down his arms, the manacles had rubbed his wrists raw and the more he moved the deeper they cut. Merlin quickly realized this and stopped moving his arms altogether instead taking the time to look around and wonder how he had gotten into such a mess again.

What if he never saw Gaius again? What if he never came home again? Talking of which, where exactly was he, was he still in Camelot's walls? Would Arthur and the others already be looking for him? How long had he been gone?

Merlin's head throbbed, unable to cope with everything that was spinning around his mind and he threw up all over himself, the manacles preventing him from moving into a better position in which to be sick, not that any would be particularly preferable. Grimacing Merlin wished that he could wipe his mouth but with shackled hands that was not possible. He stared around the cell and wondered if anyone was going to come down and speak to him. This idea was not very appealing it was better than the alternative, that he would be left down here to rot. Merlin shuddered at that thought and tried to take his mind to a happier place, recalling when Arthur had slipped over in the mud and landed in horse dung, or when Gaius had bought him apples for breakfast. No, that wasn't helping, now that Merlin had thought about food his stomach had decided to grumble and make itself known, and thoughts of home and Gaius caused his eyes to well up. Instead Merlin just dangled limply, waiting for something to happen and loosing track of time.

When the single door to his cell finally opened Merlin was barely conscious, his head was spinning and he was freezing cold, tremors passing through him causing his entire body to shake. Merlin winced and flinched back at the creaking sound, but tried to keep his emotions hidden under a mask of confidence and spite. He knew that showing weakness in front of these men would only get him in to more trouble, they would sense his fear and be drawn in by it, feed off it. He glanced up and saw that it was the two men from earlier, each bearing a flaming torch.

"Ah, I see you are awake. You've been out cold for two days, I was wondering if you would ever deign to wake up." Two days? He had been out for two days. Fear prickled inside of Merlin, surely the others would have found him by now if they were looking. No, they were looking; they just lost his trail or something. They would find him soon.

"Yes." Merlin's voice was slightly horse from lack of use but rang with defiance. He refused to show his fear.

"I wouldn't speak to me like that if I were you. How about yes Sir?"

"You are no Sir to me!" Merlin once again regretted his choice of action when the man lunged for him and made a deep cut on his other cheek. Merlin whimpered despite himself and balled his feet, unable to do so with his hands.

"You will have matching scars now. They can serve as a reminder that you should never defy your superiors, and mark my words, if you continue to do so I will cut you up like a piece of meat until you are begging for death." Merlin bit back his reply, deciding to opt for self preservation until the others came to rescue him. He could feel the magic welling up inside him and if he was able to bide his time Merlin was sure that he could overpower these men.

"What did you hear us saying in Camelot?" Well, that answered that question; Merlin was clearly no longer in Camelot. The thought caused another spike of terror to take hold of the boy.

"That you were plotting against the king. You will not get away with it."

"Oh, but we already have." Merlin gasped slightly.

"You killed him?"

"As good as." Both men looked at each other and smiled crookedly.

"Do you think we should tell him, Dean?"

"I think so; there will be nothing the child can do about it." The man who was called Dean, the blonde younger one, cackled slightly at his own wit, although Merlin couldn't see what was funny for the life of him.

"Last night at the banquet Lucas here slipped a poison into the Lady Morgana's drink." Merlin's eyes widened in fear and his pupils dilated.

"Do not worry; it will not kill her, at least not directly." Both men cackled again.

"What have you done to her?" Merlin's voice was full of venom and he glared at the men in front of him.

"The poison is a simple one really, it is slow acting and should begin to work in a few days. It will cause the victim a great deal of discomfort, making them loose their mind. And as you can imagine, some people, when they loose their mind loose control. We wouldn't want Lady Morgana to loose control in front of Uther would we?"

It took a while for the words to sink in and Merlin looked blankly at the men before realizing, her magic! The poison would make her loose control of her magic in front of the king. He would surely kill her if he found out. Merlin began to worry his lip; the plan didn't make any sense.

"And why do you want that to happen? What is the point of making Uther kill Morgana because of her magic?" The men looked slightly shocked that Merlin knew about Morgana's abilities but did not comment.

"You are too young to understand. It will break him to find out his precious ward has been lying to him all these years, defying him and mocking him behind his back. A broken king will not be able to command an army. Camelot will be ours for the taking."

"No it won’t. I will stop you."

"No you will not. We do plan on letting you go back, we have no use for you, and I am sure that seeing you broken will have a satisfactory impact on the prince. However, you will not stop us."

"I will tell them what you have done!"

"Ah, you see, that will be the problem. You will not be able to."

"What do you mean?" Without warning Lucifer moved forwards and pressed a small vial to Merlin's lips. The boy turned and thrashed wildly, trying to avoid the liquid which was now trailing down his throat leaving an all consuming burning sensation behind. The young warlock felt his will crumble and he couldn't help but cry. He was unable to stop the screams that were slipping from his lips and all he could hear were Dean and Lucifer laughing. The noise sounded as if it was coming from miles away and Merlin found himself embracing the darkness.

Merlin slipped in and out of consciousness, not able to judge how much time had passed between each period of lucidity. Blood had finally stopped oozing from his cheek and Merlin could feel dry blood caked onto his face and neck. His throat felt raw and he wished that someone would bring him some water.

When the door did finally creek open again it was Dean, his scraggly blonde hair seemingly shining in the torchlight due to the grease.

"How are you enjoying your stay? I hope that you are finding your accommodation satisfactory." Merlin had no idea what accommodation mean but he picked up on the tone of sarcasm, so decided to stay silent. The man took two deliberate steps towards Merlin and the boy breathed in sharply and hung his head, defeated.

"Please let me go."

"Not just yet, I think you should stay a little longer. Maybe we will let you go tomorrow?" Merlin felt tears well up in his eyes and was taken by surprise when the man grabbed his cheek roughly and tilted water down his throat.

"Wouldn't want my guest getting thirsty and dying would I?" With that the man turned and left, leaving Merlin alone in the darkness. The young boy dangled uselessly, tears poring down his face, only causing the stinging in his cheeks to intensify as salty water licked at the wounds.

After a few hours Merlin was sure that he could hear voices whispering the dark, the strange sounds seemed so close and yet he couldn't make anything out. The harder he listened the more carried away his mind became.

  _"Kill."_

_"You will die here alone."_

_"Alone."_

_"They hate you, despise you. They will not come."_

_"Die."_

_"They do not care about you."_

_"Burn."_

_"Won't come."_

Merlin could no longer tell what was inside his head and what was reality, pure terror had taken over him and the child began to writhe furiously.

"Let me out! Let me out please. Arthur? Gaius? Gwaine? Morgana? Gwen? Arthur? Somebody? Anybody?" Merlin's terrified screams were amplified by the stone walls of his tiny cell and the boy was certain that someone could hear his cries. However nobody came to save him. He gave up battling the voices, they were right, he was all alone. The others were not going to come. He would be left in this cell to rot.

Hours later Merlin gave up screaming and struggling and dangled hopelessly, completely defeated. His magic was not coming out; he guessed that as he was so frightened he could not grasp it properly. He knew that if he just calmed down and was sensible he would be able to get out of this mess, but life was not that simple. He could not calm down. He could not breathe. The walls were closing in on him, the cell getting smaller and smaller by the second. The air was not flowing properly through his bruised throat. Merlin dry heaved as the room began to spin around him, sweat was pouring down his face and he could feel his hair sticking to his face. Merlin could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage which felt a lot tighter than normal, his mouth was dry and he was trembling from head to toe. He desperately attempted to control his breathing but Merlin's resolve was fading fast, who cared if he just died? The others had all clearly abandoned him; maybe he should just let himself go as well. With that Merlin allowed himself to pass out again, not waking up until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos <3

When Merlin finally regained consciousness he discovered that he was no longer manacled to a wall. His entire body was aching and felt bruised, he felt as though he had been dragged over a mountain, and considered the fact that he probably had been dragged from the cell to wherever he was now. He experimentally tried to stretch his leg out and let out a gasp mingled with pain and horror. The room he was in was so tiny that he could not stretch out fully; it could only be about a square meter. Merlin felt his breath quicken in panic and curled up into a tiny ball. The floor was made of cobbled stone and yet the walls felt as if they were made from wood. Merlin briefly considered this, still attempting to breathe deeply in order to fight the rising panic. Numerous ideas popped into his head and he eventually decided that he was in a cupboard, and that all cupboards have doors.

The throbbing in his cheek had intensified and Merlin was terrified to touch and assess the damage, assuming that he would only hurt himself more. With his last few ounces of energy Merlin rolled onto his front as best as he could and reached out one of his bruised hands, which hurt even more than when he was dangling from them, it was too dark to see why. He cautiously began to push at the walls until the third finally creaked open. Merlin felt tears of relief prickle in the corner of his eyes and he dragged himself a few inches forward so that his arm was now outside of his prison.

Once again Merlin's vision blurred and he growled with frustration.

Not now.

He would not pass out now.

He would not…

A high pitched scream notified half of the castle that something was not right, that something was wrong, very wrong indeed. Arthur and Gwaine were striding through the corridors when they heard the noise and immediately turned and sprinted towards the screaming woman, running through corridors until they ended up standing by a cupboard.

"What's wrong Gwen?" Arthur immediately recognised Morgana's serving girl and gave her what he hoped was a comforting smile. Gwen had gone incredibly pale and merely pointed toward the floor by the cupboard. Arthur and Gwaine followed her gaze and let out a small gasp, there was a limp and bloody arm lying across the floor, the fingers were bent at strange angles and there was no movement, not even a twitch. Arthur stepped forward and flung the cupboard door open, gasping audibly at what he saw.

"What is it Sire?"

"Gwen, run to Gaius immediately and request for him to come here as quickly as he can. Gwaine, help me lift Merlin out of here."

"Merlin?" Gwen's face dropped in horror, the young boy had been missing for four days and everyone had been worried sick. Arthur had sent out three patrols to scour the forest and every house had been thoroughly searched, nothing had come up.

"Yes, Merlin. He is in a bad way. Get Gaius. NOW!" Without another word Gwen turned and sprinted down the corridor, reaching Gaius' in less than two minutes. She burst through the door without knocking and almost collided with the table in front of her.

"Gaius. Come quickly, we found Merlin." Gaius looked up from the table, which he had been sitting at for the last two day without moving. His eyes were bloodshot and there were accented by purple bags, he had been frantic for the first two days of Merlin's disappearance, running around and searching everywhere; however on the third day he seemed to give up, slumping by his desk and crying. Gwen had tried her hardest to reassure him, but to be truthful she herself was not feeling confident that Merlin was alright and she eventually gave up. There was nothing she could do for a man who had just lost his son.

"Merlin? Is he, is he?" Gaius was unable to finish his sentence so instead stood up, swaying alarmingly. Gwen wrapped her arm around his shoulders for support.

"He is alive. But Arthur said he was in a bad way. Please hurry." Gaius grabbed his kit and ran as fast as he could, which due to his arthritis was not very fast. He pushed through the pain and practically collapsed next to the prone figure of his ward. Gwaine and Arthur had managed to gently lift Merlin out of the cupboard and were hovering over the boy, uncertain about what to do.

"Oh my boy. My poor, sweet boy." Gaius stroked the hair out of Merlin's eyes and very gently began to wipe away some of the blood and puss from the child's cheeks. Gaius couldn't help but be relieved that Merlin was in a deep unconscious state, he had a high fever, his neck was badly bruised, the cuts in his cheeks were incredibly deep, his wrists had been ripped to shreds and his right hand was completely mangled. By the looks of things he had three badly broken fingers and his thumb was dislocated.

"Gaius what happened to him?" Arthur's voice was shaking slightly although no-one commented; they all felt awful about the boy's poor condition.

"H-he's been strangled and tied up with what I guess were manacles. Then he was-was tortured by the looks of his cheeks and his h-hand appears to have been trodden on. He is in a really bad state, I-I don't know how much I will be able to do for him. He will be weak from fever and in a lot of pain when he wakes. All we can do is hope that he will remain unconscious for a long time, or at least long enough for me to patch him up a bit. Arthur can you lift him over to my chambers, there is little I can do for him here." Arthur nodded and with Gwaine's help he carried Merlin gently to Gaius' chambers and placed him on his bed, being careful not to touch his hand or face.

Gaius began to work quickly, hoping that he would be able to treat the boy's wounds before he woke up. He wiped away the remaining blood on his face and neck and began to stitch up the wounds, something that he had been forced to do far too often for his liking.

He was incredibly thankful when the boy did not so much as twitch during the procedure.

Gaius instructed Arthur and Gwen to rub some ointment onto the bruising on Merlin's neck as he turned his attention to Merlin's hand and wrists. Gwaine helped him to wipe away the blood, apply creams and antiseptics to Merlin's wrists and bandage them up whilst Gaius set about trying to sort out Merlin's fingers. First he clicked the child's dislocated thumb into place, which led to the boy letting out a gasping breath and his body reflexively spasming.

"We must hurry before he wakes. Gwen, now that his neck is done will you please change the cloths on his forehead for cooler ones. Gwaine, I think it would be best if you left and told the king what has happened." Gaius had noticed that Gwaine's face had paled when he saw the state of Merlin's hand and heard Merlin's thumb click loudly. It looked as if the brave, handsome knight was about to faint or vomit, which would definitely not help the situation. Arthur had also noted this but did not have the heart to tease his friend, he too felt sick to the bone when he saw what had been done to such a young child.

"Y-yes. Thank you Gaius." Gwaine hurried out of the room and the others heard a retching sound outside.

"Gwen, I think it would be best if you went with Gwaine and helped him back, there is nothing much you can do now."

"Yes Gaius. Send someone if you need me." Gwen too hurried out of the room gratefully, leaving just Arthur and Gaius to tend for Merlin. Arthur listened to Gaius' instructions, handing him a thin, flat piece of wood and looking away when Gaius straightened up the child's swollen, stiff fingers.

"Arthur, can you hold his hand flat?"

"Yes." Arthur's voice was clipped and Gaius could tell that he too was not feeling well.

"We are nearly done now." Gaius placed the wood between Arthur and Merlin's hands and carefully began to bandage the wood to the child's limp hand.

"That should encourage his bones to heal properly and straight. He will have to keep it on for around six weeks and even then his fingers will be tender. Merlin will have to do some exercises if he is to regain full movement of them." Arthur nodded at this information and sighed, gently resting Merlin's hand on his weakly rising and falling chest. Gaius kept wetting the cloth on his head in an attempt to bring down his fever and Merlin whimpered slightly.

Gaius and Arthur exchanged looks to check that they were not imagining things and smiled nervously when Merlin clenched his good hand and fisted his blanket. Arthur and Gaius sat back and waited in silence, holding their breath when the boy's eyes fluttered open. Merlin let out an agonised cry and tears began to flood down his face. He blinked rapidly and tried to make sense of his surroundings. He felt really cold yet there was a blanket on top of him, he could make out what he assumed was a dusty ceiling and nothing much else. Sitting up gingerly he stared around again, only then noticing the two figures sitting by his bed. Merlin let out a panicked cry and backed away from Gaius and Arthur, who looked alarmed by his reaction to them.

"L-leave me alone." Merlin's voice caught and was rasping, his throat sounded incredibly dry so Gaius grabbed a goblet of water. He leant forward slightly offering Merlin the water and attempting to rest a hand on his shoulder, but Merlin leapt back with a terrified shriek.

"Go away. Please leave me alone. Don't hurt me!" Merlin curled up tighter and began to sob.

"Merlin my boy, it is me and Arthur. We are your friends; we are not going to hurt you."

"G-Gaius?" Merlin looked up and wiped away the tears with his left hand, his right was absolute agony and felt as if it had been tied onto something. Now that he thought about it all of the pains in his body seemed to intensify and his cheeks felt as though they were being ripped open.

"Yes my boy. I am here."

"Where am I?"

"You are at home, in your room." Merlin looked around and now recognised his surroundings.

"My hand and face hurt."

"I know, I have done all I can at the moment, but will give you something else for the pain tomorrow when your body is strong enough to cope with it."

"When did you find me?"

"We found you in the castle about an hour ago." Merlin looked confused and blank.

"I wasn't in the castle. I was in a cell. I kept calling for you, waiting for you all to come and save me but you didn't. You left me all alone in the dark. I thought you loved me, but you just left me. I loved you. I kept on calling for you but you didn't come." Merlin turned away and buried his head back in his arms, his chest heaving with sobs and his entire body shuddering.

"Merlin, we were looking for you. We sent out search parities, patrols, we went into everyone's house to see if you were there. We did everything we could."

"It-it wasn't enough. I waited hours and hours in the dark, there were bad voices saying that you wouldn't come, and I said that you would. But you didn't, they were right. You left me; you do not really love me." Merlin's voice trailed off and he began to rock himself back and forth, mumbling words that Gaius and Arthur could not hear, and didn't think they wanted to hear.

"Merlin, please. I love you more than anything. You are like a son to me, you know that. I know you are scared but please trust me when I say that we all love you, and would never have abandoned you." Merlin ignored this, only responding when Gaius lent forward and embraced the boy in a tight hug. At first Merlin tried to pull away, but he eventually gave up and relaxed into the embrace. He just lay propped against Gaius' chest and cried until no more tears would come, and then he stayed perfectly still and allowed the man to hold him up.

"S-sorry Gaius. I was just, just…" When Merlin eventually spoke his voice was hoarser than ever and he sounded as if he was going to cry again. Gaius kissed him gently on the forehead and began to card his hands through Merlin's matted hair comfortingly.

"I know you were scared Merlin. We were as well, we were worried sick. Merlin, I know this is hard but can you tell us what happened to you? Who took you?"

"I don't want to."

"I know, but can you just try for me?"

"Two men took me when I overheard them. They locked me up and did horrible things to me; they kept saying bad things and hurt me when I answered back rudely." Gaius couldn't help the small flicker of pride when Merlin admitted that he was rude to these men. Merlin was a lot stronger than he was given credit for and had clearly been very brave and stood up for himself as well as he could.

"Do you know who these men were?"

"No." Merlin nuzzled his head further into Gaius, who looked uncertain about what to ask next. Arthur, who had been listening silently, placed an arm on Merlin's back and rubbed comfortingly before taking over the questioning.

"Merlin, what did you overhear?" Arthur spoke gently and patiently hoping to make Merlin feel safe again. Merlin opened his mouth to answer when a burning sensation enveloped him.

His whole world was fire; he was trapped in a blistering inferno and had no way of escape. Flames were licking at his insides and Merlin screamed and screamed until his voice was hoarse. Blood erupted from deep in his throat and began to ooze down his chin and neck. High pitched screams echoed around the room and it took Merlin a while to realise that they were his own. Merlin writhed in agony, thrashing against Gaius' body. The old man looked terrified and was still embracing the child tightly, scared to let go in case Merlin hurt himself any more.

"Gaius? GAIUS, what's happening? What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to do; I don't know what is happening to him. Merlin? Merlin can you hear me?" Merlin had gone limp in the older mans arms and was beginning to spasm.

"Arthur, help me hold him down before he hurts himself." Gaius laid the child down and took Merlin's arms while Arthur pressed down on his legs, preventing the boy from moving and jarring his injuries. Merlin's eyes had glazed over and it was clear that he was no longer aware of his surroundings. Another minute of convulsions left the boy spent, and he fell fast asleep without even opening his eyes first.

"What on Earth?"

"I don't know. It happened when you asked about what the men were plotting. I wonder…" Gaius' voice trailed off and without explanation he got up, left the room and returned a couple of minutes later with an old, leather-bound book.

"What do you think?" Gaius pressed the book into Arthur's hand and pointed at one of the paragraphs.

_A poison which when swallowed will cause a severe burning sensation. It is used to prevent victims from explaining what has happened or revealing secrets. If the victim does attempt to reveal the secret, they will be rendered incapable of speech by the poison, which will cause unendurable agony. Victims who try to reveal information multiple times will often fall unconscious, die or loose their mind due to the pain. There is no known antidote._

"That would make sense." Arthur's expression fell when he read the passage and he rubbed his temple absentmindedly.

"We will have to ask him if his captors administered a potion. If so then Merlin will not be able to reveal what those men were plotting, it is unfair to ask him to try; we just saw how much pain trying caused him." Arthur nodded and sighed, gently brushing Merlin's blood-matted hair away from his face.

"You should rest sire, you look exhausted. I will look after Merlin."

"Call me when he wakes."

"Of course." Arthur turned and walked away; glancing back at the sleeping child and wondering how someone so young could get into so much trouble and survive so many attacks. Gaius bought a bucket of water over to the bed and carefully washed the blood out of Merlin's hair, sighing when a few clumps fell out. When he was finally satisfied, Gaius lay down in the bed and wrapped his arms around the child. Neither woke until late the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think xxx


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support <3

When Merlin woke up the next morning he sat bolt upright and let out a short scream of fright, which in turn woke Gaius up. Gaius groaned and yawned widely before turning his attention to the child, who was quivering miserably and looked deathly pale.

"Merlin, are you alright? What is wrong?" There was no answer, Merlin was now crying inconsolably and was clinging onto Gaius' arm so hard that it hurt, he was sure that he would have the bruises to prove it later. Not having the heart to pull away Gaius cuddled the child and waited for his heart rate to go back down and for his breathing to even out. Sighing softly he looked down at the child and began to hum softly, the same tune that he used when Merlin's mother passed away. This seemed to comfort Merlin a bit and he eventually calmed down, if possible looking more tired than the night before. Merlin had just stopped having nightmares a couple of weeks ago and it looked like his kidnapping was a major setback in his emotional state.

"Do you want to talk about it Merlin?" Merlin sniffed morosely and wiped his eyes with his good hand, avoiding Gaius' gaze.

"I-I had a n-nightmare about the m-men who took me. They s-shut me up again and it was all d-dark and I thought that it was real. I thought that I hadn't got away and that I was still t-there."

"You are in Camelot now Merlin, no-one is going to lock you up again." Merlin nodded and gave a small smile, finally reassured.   
Gaius pulled away gently and picked up some of the ointments that he had left on the table the night before. He sat down and rubbed some onto Merlin's sore, inflamed cheeks, causing Merlin to gasp and squirm in pain. He couldn't help but worry about how much Merlin was stuttering, yet another set-back that the child would have to overcome.

"I know, I know it stings but I will give you a draft for the pain once I am done. Anyway, it looks as if your fever has broken; you are at a good temperature, which means you should feel better soon." Merlin nodded and then raised his head so that Gaius could rub some ointment onto his bruised neck. He then greedily drank down the vial that Gaius pressed to his mouth and relaxed when the pain in his hand, wrists and cheeks began to fade.

"I want to go b-back to sleep." Merlin barely bit back a yawn and laid himself down with his forehead resting on his forearm so that he would not knock his wounds on the pillow.

"Alright then, try to settle back down and I will wake you up for lunch." Gaius took Merlin's wooden dragon and placed it in the child's good hand for comfort. Normally he told Merlin not to sleep with it in case he hurt himself on the sharp wings but this time he decided that he would take compassion over common sense. A splinter would be the least of their problems. He then tucked the child in tightly, rearranging the blankets as he kissed Merlin gently on the forehead.

"P-please don't go. I don't want to be left on my o-own."

"Merlin, I will just be next door in the main chambers. I promise I will not go out and leave you. I will leave the door open so I will hear if you call. It was only a nightmare Merlin, nothing is going to hurt you, and I will look after you." Merlin looked agitated and his eyes were wide but he nodded to show that he understood and closed his eyes. He soon drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep, much to Gaius' relief.

The old man pottered about making some new potions and ointments for Merlin before working on his headache remedy, which was close to perfection. He only looked up when two hours later there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in." Gaius stood up from his desk and walked towards the door, which opened to reveal Morgana. Gaius was shocked by her appearance; Morgana's usually sleek, tidy hair was sticking out at all angles and was tangled into knots and she looked gaunt.

"My Lady! What happened?" Gaius quickly ushered Morgana into a chair and immediately began to gather vials, noticing that her face was sweaty from fever.

"I do not know, I woke up and I really don't feel…" Morgana stopped mid-sentence and grabbed a nearby bucket before promptly being sick. Gaius walked forward and took hold of her hair to keep it away from her face, letting go when she stood up shakily and flushed.

"I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me!"

"When did you start feeling ill?"

"A few days ago, the night of the banquet when Merlin went missing, but I didn't think much of it. I didn't feel that…" Morgana slumped back down into the chair and threw up again, letting out a pitiful moan.

"I didn't feel this bad." Morgana drank the vials that Gaius handed to her and ran a hand through her hair miserably.

"I really am sorry to bother you, you must have your hands full what with looking after Merlin. How is he at the moment?"

"He is resting, as you should be. Let's get you back to your chambers, you need sleep." Morgana nodded and began to rise.

"One moment, I promised that I would not leave Merlin alone. He hasn't taken this very well, he was absolutely terrified yesterday, it took us a long time to settle him down and he has started to have nightmares again." Morgana nodded sadly, empathising with the poor child who had been so much. 

She briefly wondered why he had not used his magic to escape but guessed that he was too frightened to do anything. Gaius walked into Merlin's room and gently placed a hand on the child's shoulder.

 

"Merlin, Merlin, wake up." Merlin jumped up, immediately wondering what was wrong.

"Hey, calm down. It is alright, you are safe. I just need to take Morgana to her chambers. Are you alright to stay here on your own for a little bit, I will be right back." Merlin's eyes widened. Morgana, of course. The men said that they had poisoned her; maybe she was finally showing the symptoms. Merlin had no idea what to do, he knew he had to somehow tell Gaius what was happening and that Uther could not see Morgana but he did not know how to go about it. He was terrified at the idea of going through that awful burning pain again so knew that he could not talk about it.

"D-don't leave me; I want to c-come with you." Merlin said the first thing that came to his mind, deciding that he would decide on a way of telling Gaius on the way to Morgana's chambers.

"Merlin, you should stay in bed, you are not well."

"You can't just l-leave me here." Admitting defeat Gaius sighed and picked Merlin up, knowing that the child would be unable to walk half way to his door, let alone the whole way to Morgana's. The boy was still insanely skinny and barely weighed a thing, although Gaius knew his back would end up protesting the next day.

"Fine, come on then." Merlin rested his forehead on Gaius' shoulders and was slowly carried to Morgana's room, receiving a few strange looks when people saw his battered condition and state of dress; he was still in just a long nightshirt. They had to pause a few times when Morgana was sick and ended up bumping into Arthur on the way. Arthur took Merlin into his own arms and immediately bombarded Morgana with questions about her condition. Morgana ignored most of these and Arthur gave up, deciding to talk to Merlin instead.

"How are you feeling today Merlin, you look quite sleepy."

"I'm tired, but I didn't want to be left on my o-own again. I feel a bit better, although my h-hand still really hurts."

"I am sure it does, but you were very brave and are being very strong."

"Thank you." Merlin's voice was soft and Arthur could tell that he was about to fall asleep again. He was extra careful not to jostle the boy and soon felt Merlin' soft breathes deepen against his neck. When they finally reached Morgana's chambers she looked close to collapse.

Gaius helped her to lie down and Arthur laid Merlin down next to her, the bed was so large that all four of them could have fitted in it if necessary. Merlin sank softly into the pillows and began to sniffle in his sleep, mumbling occasionally with his eyelids fluttering.

"Will he be alright Gaius?" Morgana's voice was faint but she was trying to keep her mind off of her rolling stomach.

"I think so. He is obviously very distressed by what happened and is psychologically traumatised but he will pull through, he has before and I am sure that he will again."

"Good." Morgana gasped in pain and clutched at her stomach, vomiting into a bucket which Gaius held to her mouth. She had gone even paler and was beginning to shake.

"Gaius what is wrong with her?"

"It looks like some sort of poison; she said she felt ill after the banquet which would suggest…" Gaius began to take Morgana's pulse and began to check her breathing.

"The men that took Merlin, you don't think that they had something to do with this?"

"Yes, I do. If they poisoned Merlin it is likely that they poisoned Morgana as well." The door burst open to reveal a harassed looking Gwen.

"Is Morgana alright, it was my day off but I heard that she was taken ill."

"We think she has been poisoned by the men that took Merlin. We think that is what he heard them talking about." Gwen's mouth dropped open at the bluntness of Arthur's statement and she picked up a damp cloth and began to wipe her mistress's forehead soothingly.

"But why would they do that? I do not understand."

"Nor do I, we need to ask Merlin, but first would you get someone to fetch my father."

"Yes of course." Gwen hurried out and accosted a passing servant, asking him to notify the king that his ward had fallen ill. When the servant finally came back he notified the room that Uther was in an important meeting but would come in half an hour. Morgana's condition was rapidly deteriorating, she had gone deathly pale, her eyes had glazed over and she was thrashing and moaning.

"Gaius, do something!" Gaius shook his head sadly.

"There is nothing I can do, I do not know what type of poison has been used and will not be able to find a remedy in time. She will just have to fight it."

"We need to wake Merlin up."

"Yes, but we cannot ask him too much, he won't be able to cope with much more pain." Arthur nodded and watched as Gwen carefully shook Merlin awake.

"W-what?"

"Merlin, we need to ask you something." Arthur spoke calmly and tried to hide the pure panic in his voice.

"What?"

"Was Morgana poisoned?" Merlin looked terrified, not knowing whether he would be hurt if he responded, but he remembered his mother's last words to him. "I love you so much Merlin. Be brave for me." Merlin bit back his fear and nodded, flinching and screwing his face up in terror, waiting for the pain to come, but it didn't. Relieved he smiled slightly, only to be asked another question.

"Do you know what poison it was?" Merlin shook his head this time, holding his breath in fright.

"Do you know why they poisoned her?" Merlin nodded, unwilling to elaborate.

"Can you tell us?" Merlin shook his head, his eyes widening with fright.

"The king is on the way, we need to assure him that she will be alright, and we can not do that if we do not know what is wrong." Merlin froze for a few seconds and then began to shake his head frantically. They couldn't let Uther see Morgana. He willed the others to understand but they just stared at him with blank, pitying looks.

"Merlin please, I know it might hurt but…" Arthur was cut off at a loud shattering noise. Arthur, Gwen, Gaius and Merlin all turned to Morgana, seeing her eyes wide and gold. The vials on her bedside table had just exploded and without warning the door of her wardrobe flew off its hinges and fell to the ground with a loud thump.

"She has lost control of her magic!" unable to think of anything else to say Gwen decided to state the obvious. They all stared at each other in panic, realising what this meant. Uther was coming.

"We need to stop the king from visiting. Now!" Arthur jumped up and was halfway to the door when it sprung open.

"Where is she? What has happened? Why was I not notified before?" Uther barged into the room and stopped dead in his tracks when another flare of Morgana's magic caused her desk to upturn, sending scrolls of parchment and books everywhere.

"Magic." Uther's voice was barely audible and the others looked in terror at his face, his expressions flitting from pain to incomprehension, shock to fear, sadness to anger.

"Treason. I don't believe it."

"Father, please I can explain."

"SILENCE!" Arthur jumped back, taken by surprise and wondering what to do.

"Father, she is ill, be reasonable."

"Reasonable? GUARDS!" Two guards rushed into the room.

"Seize her, take her to the dungeons. She is no daughter of mine." Morgana let out a shriek when she was hoisted out of bed and dragged to the door.

"Please Uther I can explain." Her voice was weak and Morgana stared at Uther terrified, however the king ignored her pleading looks and turned away, massaging his temple.

"Get her out of my sight." Uther turned and stormed out of the room leaving Gaius, Merlin, Arthur and Gwen staring at the door.

"What do we do? This will break him." Merlin nodded frantically and pulled at Arthur's sleeve.

"What Merlin? Now is not the time!" Merlin flinched at Arthur's harsh tone and Gwen squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

"I think Merlin is trying to tell us something."

"Oh, um, sorry. What were you trying to say?" Merlin grimaced.

"Was it something I said?" Merlin nodded.

"About father being broken?" Merlin nodded again.

"But why?" Merlin didn't know how to answer this so remained silent, causing Arthur to sigh in frustration.

"But if they wanted to break my father why not just kill him?" Merlin shrugged and felt the burning sensation begin to prickle his insides. He had clearly communicated too much and the potion was beginning to react. He wriggled around in bed uncomfortable and moaned as the sensation grew.

"Arthur stop questioning him, you can see that he is hurting."

"But I have to know. Merlin please answer me!" Merlin saw the desperation in Arthur's eyes and resigned himself to his fate; he would have to say something sooner or later. He couldn't let those men succeed.

"They are breaking him…weaken Camelot…battle…fall...take over." Merlin forced the words out of his throat, knowing that if he didn't tell the others everything now that he would not be able to. Each couple of words were punctuated by a whimper or heavy breaths and by the time that Merlin had finished he was screaming in unbearable agony. They all watched in horror as Merlin began to thrash wildly, trying to comfort him but knowing there was nothing they could do. 

When Merlin's voice finally left him he whimpered and moaned, sobbing and curling up in a ball, scratching at his arm with his good hand to try and create some external pain to take his mind off of his internal burning. 

Gwen burst into tears and left the room, Merlin's cries of distress becoming too much for her to bear. Gaius had also gone teary-eyed and was running his hands through his hair in distress, leaving just Arthur in any fit state to care for the child. 

Doing the only thing he could think of Arthur pulled Merlin into his arms and squeezed the boy tight refusing to let go, even when he stopped whimpering.

 

"P-please. M-ma-ke it s-stop." Merlin finally found his voice and began to beg for mercy in distressed tones.

"I can't Merlin. I am so sorry. So, so sorry." Arthur stroked Merlin's hair and rocked him, doing all he could to soothe the distraught child.

"Hurts so m-much."

"I'm sorry." Arthur felt tears cascade down his cheeks but did not bother wiping them away. If anyone deserved his tears it way brave, loyal, kind Merlin, the child who had suffered so much in order to help others. When Merlin finally fell asleep Arthur felt ready to collapse, his heart was physically aching from sorrow and all he wanted to do was to take away the child's pain. He followed Gaius out of Morgana's chambers and carried Merlin back to his room, wondering what he should do about Morgana and how he should try to calm Uther down before Camelot was attacked.

Percival and Gwaine both went down to visit Merlin the next morning having heard what happened. They had both bought some bread and jam with them and tried to coax Merlin back into normality and trying equally hard to ignore how violently Merlin's hands were shaking. They ate in near silence and ended up spending a couple of hours playing Queek, although no-one was paying particular attention to the game. Percival eventually put the cloth away and watched as Merlin relaxed a little and rested his head on Gwaine's chest. Despite all his best efforts to cheer Merlin up, he was not making much progress. He even made up a story full of dragons, wolves, brave princes and magical plants but Merlin was not really listening and fell asleep halfway through, his breaths hitting the crook of Gwaine's neck steadily. With a sigh Gwaine laid Merlin down and tucked a couple of blankets around him, brushing a few strands of Merlin's hair from his face and sighing. Percival gave Merlin's spindly hand a quick squeeze before leaving, followed closely by Gwaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think <3


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later Merlin was finally beginning to perk up, Gaius had finally been able to persuade him that no-one was coming to hurt him and that he was safe now, not that Gaius was convinced. Half the time he wondered whether he was saying these things to comfort and assure himself rather than the boy. Merlin's nightmares also seemed to have subsided, although he refused to sleep without at least five lit candles on his bedside table. Despite Gaius' protestations that there was nothing hiding in the shadows, Merlin had not budged and would cry whenever Gaius went to blow them out. His initial reaction was much worse however…

Merlin began to scream when the candlelight suddenly disappeared, he could hear movement and footsteps behind him and knew that the bad men had come for him again. Gaius' voice spoke out but he sounded so far away, probably in a different room where he was unable to help. When Merlin felt a hand on his shoulder he froze, unable to move. Merlin began to tremble and curled himself into the tightest all possible, whimpering all the while. It had taken Gaius three hours of lighting about twenty candles, cuddling, soft reassurances and rubbing circles on the child's back to drag Merlin from his catatonic state.

Gaius now watched sadly whilst Merlin was allowing Gertrude to slither between the splayed fingers of his good hand. He had been sitting perfectly still for a good hour, only shifting to glance around nervously. Gaius hadn't failed to notice how Merlin's eyes constantly flickered around wildly, he was becoming increasingly nervous about Morgana and Arthur and this had not helped the boy's nerves. 

Merlin, Gaius and Arthur all visited Morgana on a daily basis, bribing the guards with gold coins and mead. Although she was recovering from the poison, most of the side effects having worn off, Morgana seemed on edge. Uther had still not relented and despite Arthur's desperate attempts to make his father come round, the king of Camelot was not being swayed. 

If anything he was just becoming more furious with Arthur.

His actions had become erratic, summoning court meetings to commence within the hour, sending out more patrols in search of magic-users and hiring four witch-hunters. 

Arthur could see that his father had finally cracked under the stress and knew that it was not only he who sensed it. The knights had all grown nervous, spending longer in training in preparation for an attack. Due to this Arthur too had spent time on the field, and was incredibly relieved when he saw Merlin making his way over to the knights.

"Hey buddy!" Gwaine bent down and scooped Merlin into a tight hug, swinging him around in the air and not noticing Merlin's fleeting, terrified expression.

"Merlin, how are you feeling?"

"I'm o-ok." Of course Arthur knew that this was Merlin-code for I am not ok, but I don't want you to worry. I am actually frightened out of my wits and want to curl up under a blanket and be left alone. The slight tremor in the child's voice gave him away.

"Good." Arthur decided to give the child a break and rolled with it, he could ensure that the boy was happy later. Before Arthur could say anything else Merlin had settled down, a greater distance from the others than normal, and was polishing one of the swords that had just been used. Arthur sighed.

"Be more gentle with him Gwaine, he's still pretty shaken up."

"Oh, yeah. I thought he might of settled a bit by now. Sorry princess." Gwaine bit his lip and shot a worried look over at the child.

"Don't worry about it, just, try to be a bit calm for once!"

"Of course." Gwaine went back to swinging a mace around and Arthur turned his attention back to teaching a few new knights how to shoot a crossbow more effectively. Once the knights were so exhausted that they needed a break from training Gwaine and Percival went over to where Merlin was still sitting and began to talk to him softly about trivialities such as the best way to know if a berry is ripe or where they were going on the next patrol. Well, Gwaine was the one doing most of the talking, Percival remained silent and Merlin chatted along readily enough but did not seem to be really paying attention. His eyes would glaze over and Merlin often had to mentally shake himself back to the present.

About half an hour after the knights began to train again the heavens opened and it began tipping down with rain, a fact that did not particularly cheer Arthur up. Merlin continued to polish in the rain, with only a spindly tree for shelter. He didn't seem to notice the fact that he was involuntarily shivering with cold. Arthur noted that the child was half-frozen and took off his cloak, wrapping it around the boy and instructing him to go inside and help Gaius. Merlin had not questioned this but hugged Arthur gently before trudging back to his room to change out of his soggy clothes. Gaius looked up when Merlin entered, resembling a drowned rat and re-heated some broth that he had made earlier.

"Thank you Gaius."

"So what were you up to with Arthur then?"

"Polishing, but then he told me to help you. Is there anything I can do?"

"Could you go and fetch some bay-leaves and rosemary when the weather is better?"

"Yes. A-anything now?"

"No, you can relax a bit, Gwen dropped some apples around earlier, maybe you could do something with them?" Merlin nodded smiling, Gaius rarely let him cook as it always ended in a ridiculous among of mess, but Merlin always had a great time in the process.

Merlin sat at the table Gaius used for cooking and set about making a simple pastry mix that the cook had taught him. The cook had a soft spot for Merlin, often commenting on how thin he was and giving him leftovers and extra pieces from Arthur's meal.

Merlin had soon made an apple pie, which he baked in Gaius' small wood-burning oven, a real luxury item that Gaius rarely had time to make the most of. Merlin handed him a slice of the pie and they ate together in companionable silence, Merlin glancing out to check whether the rain had stopped.

Half an hour later he set off with a basket and began to collect the herbs that Gaius had asked for and some extra supplies that he happened to come across. 

That was when he heard a pair of voices.

Merlin froze with recognition and stared straight ahead of him into a clearing. Standing there were Lucas and Dean, conversing in broad daylight. Part of Merlin, the part that treasured his mother's last words more than anything, told him to be strong and to confront the men. However the dominant part at that moment told him to flee. Merlin spun around, intending to go and tell Arthur what had happened. He was stopped however when a cracking twig alerted the men of his presence, and by the arrow that pierced his back, just above his shoulder blade. Merlin fell to the ground with a whimper, the basket he was carrying flying from his grip, scattering herbs everywhere.

"Well well. You don't give up do you? I thought we taught you a lesson on meddling last time. Clearly not." Lucas strode forward and grabbed Merlin, hoisting him into the air by the scruff of his neck.

"P-please. It was a-an accident. L-leave me alone. I w-won't tell anyone I s-saw you. Let me g-go." Merlin began to wail in fright and kicked out in desperation.

"We will not make that mistake again. You are more trouble than you are worth. Come on Dean, let's go." Lucas threw Merlin to the ground and began to kick him with all his might, his stomach and his lower back were both assaulted and Merlin could do nothing more than curl up with his hands over his head. He couldn't help but whimper and felt tears streaming down his face, he knew what was going to happen, he was going to die. Merlin then felt his battered body be lifted up and felt something wrapping around his wrists and ankles, tying them together so that Merlin was forcibly contorted into a ball. Merlin was in a state of full scale panic now, his breathing was harsh and rapid, yet he didn't seem to be drawing in enough air. His back and stomach were aching and his throat was burning with acid, Merlin was bounced around by the horse but managed to keep quiet, silently accepting his fate. He desperately tried to remember the route that they were taking him, not that he believed he would be able to escape. In fact, if anything the idea that the men had not bothered to blind-fold him confirmed that there would be no way for Merlin to get away, that his fate was sealed no matter what.

About two hours later Merlin was shoved off of the horse, falling and hitting his head hard on the ground, which knocked him out immediately. When Merlin finally came around he felt nausea hit him and vomited all over the floor, he was trembling violently and his body was racked with tremors due to the cold, damp room. Once again he found himself dangling from a wall, this time he was hoisted further in the air and his already painful wrists were grated raw by the rope. He let out a scream of fright and began to cry, sniffling softly when no more tears would fall. His tummy and back hurt but Merlin was unable to do anything about it, dangling uselessly from the wall with all hope gone. It wasn't until the next day that Lucas entered the room. The dark-haired man was grinning lopsidedly and moved towards Merlin.

"Now, we can do this the easy was or the hard way." Lucas brought his hand up to Merlin's face and Merlin flinched, closing his eyes and waiting for the blow. What came was much worse. The man had cupped his cheek and was gently running his calloused fingers along his skin with in a soft caress, then Merlin felt the man lean further in and kiss him gently on the lips. This was worse than the beating, so much worse. Merlin wriggled and tried to snap his face away, but was in no position to fight back.

"Now, I am going to have my way with you, we can play some games, and if you are good, I might just let you go." Merlin shook his head wildly and began to sob with fear when he felt the man move his left hand to Merlin's hips. Merlin began to scream and wriggle wildly. This could not happen to him. He would not let it happen.

From out of nowhere Merlin felt his magic raise up and bubble over with fury and with a bright flash Lucas was thrown across the room and the rope holding Merlin up snapped, causing him to collapse onto the ground. Shock began to sink in and Merlin just stared at what he had done, Lucas was lying limp on the ground in a puddle of blood and Merlin immediately knew he was dead. 

He had killed again.

Merlin weakly dragged himself into the corner of the room and threw up a load of foul tasting bile, no longer having any food left within him. His chest was aching and he felt exhausted, dizziness causing the room to lurch around in swirls of black, grey and red. He tried and failed to calm down his shallow breathing and wiped the sweat from his forehead before realising that there was no hope. Dean would come down soon to see what had happened to Lucas, and then Merlin would be killed.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur was frantic, Morgana had been sentenced to death the next day, Uther was so drunk that when Arthur had tried to make him see sense he was punched in the face and Merlin had gone missing. No-one had seen the child since the day before, when Gaius had sent him out for some herbs and by the looks of things Gaius would never forgive himself for letting something happen to the child. Arthur mentally shook himself, he didn't know for certain that anything had happened; Merlin probably just fell asleep or got lost. However Arthur was already mounting his horse and riding out with his two most faithful knights, following the lead of the other three search parties that he had sent out. Arthur had no idea what to do about Morgana, and could not concentrate with his young servant missing. He needed to clear his head anyway; a nice ride would do him good.

Deep down Arthur knew that something was wrong though; Merlin would not just go missing like this. Merlin going missing was not a coincidence. Merlin was in trouble. Arthur tilted his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, determined not to let the tears brimming his eyes fall. Percival and Gwaine's stomachs were knotted and they followed Arthur in silence, countless scenarios of a bloody, beaten up Merlin running through all three's heads. Arthur finally seemed to relax a little when he found a set of horse tracks, and then he tensed up again when he saw a small pool of blood and a shred of fabric. A shred of fabric which had been torn from Merlin's new jacket.

"This way!" The knights all picked up the pace, following the horse-tracks until they came across what looked like an abandoned house. Outside were a couple of tied up horses and the knot in Arthur's stomach and the feeling of impending dread informed him that they were in the right place. Uther called it his hunters' instinct, Arthur called it intuition.

"Here?" Gwaine did not look entirely convinced and was fiddling anxiously with his horse's reigns.

"Yes."

Percival and Gwaine quickly dismounted their respective horses and hurried after Arthur, who was already striding over to the door.

"Wait, this could be a trap!"

"I don't care. I can't lose anyone else, first my father, tomorrow Morgana, not Merlin. I will not loose Merlin as well." With that Arthur kicked down the door with all the force he could muster and was immediately hit with the overwhelming scent of damp and blood.

"Merlin!" Arthur began wildly flinging open doors staring around for any sign of life; he refused to allow his mind to search for a body.

"Arthur. In here." Percival's voice rang throughout the house causing Gwaine and Arthur to sprint out of the rooms they had been searching. The sight that met Arthur caused him to reel backwards a couple of paces.

"Damn it. Merlin! Merlin? Wake up." Arthur slumped down next to Merlin and began feeling his neck and wrist, desperately searching for a pulse.

An audible sigh of relief escaped his lips when he finally felt blood feebly being pumped round the small child's body. Merlin's lips were blue from cold and there was a large lump on the back of his head. Arthur hoped that the child would not suffer from a concussion, that was the last thing they needed.

"We need to get him warm. Percival, Gwaine, give me your cloaks." Both knights obliged without protest, despite the harsh air that met their bodies and handed down the crimson material, which was swiftly wrapped around Merlin along with Arthur's own.

"Merlin, please wake up." Gwaine gently lifted Merlin's head up and rested it on his lap, tilting a dribble of water down the child's throat in an attempt to revive the boy. Luckily it worked and with a splutter Merlin jumped up and began to cough violently, drawing in on himself. His body was so tightly clenched together that his muscles almost immediately cramped, but he didn't care.

"Merlin? It's me, we need to go." Merlin ignored the voice which sounded surprisingly like Arthur's. Instead of responding he allowed his eyes to travel to the body curled up in the corner of the room, the smell of the man's blood made Merlin's head spin and he promptly threw up all over the floor.

"Come on Merlin. We can take you home now. He isn't going to hurt you anymore." Merlin did not make any move to indicate that he had heard.

"Are you hurt anywhere other than your head?" Merlin wanted to reveal that his back was agony and that his stomach felt as though he had been hit with a mallet, but he didn't. Instead the child remembered some of the last words spoken to him by Lucas.

"Silence. I never want to hear another sound come out of your disgusting mouth. If you make another noise mark my words I will kill you stone dead. And I will not be quick about it; I want to see you suffer."

Merlin was determined that he would never speak again. He would not give Lucas the chance to hurt him anymore. Although the man was dead Merlin was certain that would not stop him. Nothing would. Maybe Lucas would come back from the dead just to haunt him and kill him if Merlin ever spoke again.

Arthur internally groaned at the lack of response but tried to maintain a calm face, the last thing Merlin needed was to see Arthur fall apart.

"We really need to go, I need to try and talk to my father again before he does something stupid. Let's go." Arthur leant forward and scooped Merlin up to his arms and heard Merlin's almost inaudible, sharp intake of breath. He braced himself against the sharp elbows and knees that were lashing out at him, Merlin's panic only causing Arthur to hold on tighter so that he did not drop the boy.

""Merlin. Where hurts?" Once again Merlin did not respond, but not out of choice, this time he had passed out into oblivion.

"Damn. This is bad." Arthur ran a hand wearily through his hair; Merlin was so light that he did not even need to use both arms to support him.

"Why isn't he talking?" Ironically this question came from Percival, and at any other time Gwaine and Arthur would have laughed. But they didn't.

"I don't know." Arthur's answer was disconcerting in itself, it was unlike the price of Camelot to admit a gap in his knowledge, or admit defeat.

"Maybe he's in shock." Gwaine thought back to the time when Elyan had taken a week off training having emotionally shut down when a three year old girl had died in his arms, despite the knights best efforts to save her. Gaius had explained that Elyan was shaking and withdrawn as his body was trying to deal with the trauma in whatever way possible.

"Maybe." Arthur gently laid Merlin over his horse and mounted behind him, carefully wrapping an arm around the boy to keep him securely in place. Around halfway home Merlin eventually stirred, sitting himself up slightly and staring around wildly at his surroundings. When he realised that the warm presence around his waist was an arm, Merlin pulled away and pushed himself off of the horse, landing in a slumped heap on the floor.

"Merlin!" Three cries of shock met Merlin's ears, causing him to panic and shut down more. He shied away from the hands reaching out of him and his mind began to scream. 

Leave me alone. Don't touch me. Please leave me be. Don't hurt me. Please. 

Merlin's silent cries were not answered, instead he realised he was being lifted up onto the horse once again. Merlin felt his bladder release in terror and he flushed when he felt his trousers becoming wet. Arthur made no comment but resolved to get Merlin home as quickly as possible, and did not touch Merlin the whole way back, keeping his hand hovering 5 centimeters away from the child, ready to catch him if he fell.

An hour, or a year later, Arthur could not tell, the dishevelled group found themselves outside of Camelot's gate. None of them had spoken the whole way back, but all of the knights were pondering the dead man in the room where Merlin had been tied up and they wondered if that was the monster who had caused Merlin to relapse like this. 

They were now convinced that both of Merlin's disappearances were linked, and that this man had definitely played a part in his nightmare. Arthur did not attempt to try and carry Merlin to Gaius' chambers, instead walking a few paces behind the swaying child. Gaius, having seen Merlin from his window, threw the door open and let out a choked sob of relief.

"Oh thank goodness. Thank goodness. My boy, are you alright?" Merlin wanted to hug the man, squeeze him and never let go, but he didn't. Instead he bent his head and edged around his guardian towards his bedroom. Once there he lit some candles, curled up in bed and began to cry silently. Gaius stared after the child and dread washed over him.

"What happened?"

"We don't know. We followed some tracks to this abandoned house and found Merlin lying underneath some manacles with a dead man next to him. I assume Merlin finally used his magic to protect himself. He hasn't said a word since we found him and goes wild whenever anyone touches him."

"Oh." Gaius was at a loss as to what to say.

"Can you do something?"

"I don't know. Has he been hurt?"

"He has a lump on his head, but we couldn't get close enough to examine him properly." Gaius nodded and grabbed a vial of his strongest sleeping draft. It would knock Merlin out for hours. Long enough to check him over and patch him up. He entered Merlin's room quietly and placed the vial on Merlin's bedside, stepping back and watching as Merlin obediently took the potion and drank it in one mouthful.

Five minutes later Merlin was breathing deeply and Gaius was pulling off his jacket and top. Arthur hissed when he saw the swollen purple and black bruising on the child's stomach and back as he helped Gaius roll the child over onto his side. In silence both men applied creams to Merlin's front and back and Arthur even warmed up some water so Gaius could use a cloth to clean the child up. Throughout the procedure Merlin did not stir, and both Gaius and Arthur wondered what would happen when he did.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin woke the next morning drenched in sweat and found himself absentmindedly wiping the sheen of salty liquid from his forehead and cheeks. His hand was throbbing dully but he didn't care. He wondered whether he would ever care about anything again. He dressed silently and pulled a chair over to his window, causing his breathing to hitch with exertion. His body was screaming for sleep but the nightmares that plagued the boy's night were extremely undesirable, he would go without closing his eyes again for as long as possible. 

Piercing blue eyes darted from side to side as Merlin watched the hustle and bustle of town life around him. Women were shopping with their baskets, children clinging to their hands without a care in the world. How Merlin longed to be so carefree...what wouldn't he give to have a simple life.

That was when he saw the knights hauling large logs around the courtyard and using wooden carts to wheel branches to an erect stake in the middle of the square. Merlin felt a bout of nausea roll through his body and swallowed hard in an attempt to settle his stomach. Tears were filling and burning his eyes like acid, but he did not let them fall. 

Maybe he did still care. Now he wished that he was oblivious to emotion again.

A pyre. 

They were building a pyre. 

A pyre for Morgana.

Lost in his thoughts Merlin jumped and fell sideways from the chair when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't watch my boy. It will be ok. Just don't look." Merlin picked himself up and stood staring wide-eyed at Gaius, one hand resting protectively over his still-sore stomach.

"Merlin, are you hurt? Can you talk to me?" Merlin ignored the old man, feeling even worse when he saw that his crinkled eyes were also full of tears.

"Please. I want to help you." 

You can't. There is nothing you can do. I am lost. Gone. 

Merlin did not voice his thoughts, instead turning, grabbing some clean clothes and moving pointedly behind a changing screen. With a sigh Gaius took the hint and left the boy to it, instead washing some fruit and leaving it on the table for when Merlin came out.

After two hours of waiting Gaius sighed and poked his head around Merlin's door, bowl of fruit in hand.

"You need to eat my boy. You must be starving." Gaius had a false smile painted across his face, hoping that it would rub off on the child. He was disappointed.

When he came back the bowl was lying untouched and Merlin was still sitting in the same position, on the bed with his thighs pressed against his chest and his chin resting on his knees.

"Merlin?" Merlin's haunted eyes said it all. Leave me alone.

Once again Gaius left the room and he had to wipe the corners of his eyes with a handkerchief. He was completely at a loss and found himself wandering to Morgana's chambers before remembering she was not there. That at that current moment Morgana was awaiting her death in a cell. Gaius continued to wander aimlessly until he came across Arthur slamming a door and storming down the corridor.

"Arthur. Is there any news about the Lady Morgana?"

"I can't make him see sense!" Arthur's voice cracked with despair and he balled his hands into fists, rubbing his eyes angrily. He would not cry. 

By the look of Gaius' face there had been enough tears shed for one day.

"How about Merlin?" If possible Gaius' face fell even further.

"He won't let me anywhere near him and he hasn't touched any food since he was kidnapped. If I can't get him to eat soon he will starve himself to death." Arthur sighed, that was definitely not what he wanted to hear and did nothing to lift his spirit.   
"Wonderful."

"It will be fine."

"Really?"

"I hope so."

...

Everything was not fine. Morgana had been dragged kicking and screaming to the pyre with ropes tying her hands behind her back and around her waist, securing her to the stake. She had tried her hardest not to cry but tears were cascading down her pale face.

"Uther please!" Morgana began to beg.

"Father please!" Arthur desperately tried to hold back his tears as he clutched at his father's cape.

"My Lord, maybe…"

"…Reconsider."

"…Always a way…" Voices kept bombarding the king, telling him to see sense, but Uther was a stubborn man. Morgana had used magic. Magic is punishable by death. Therefore Morgana had to die. He would never admit it, but he had been blinded by his hatred of magic to the extent that it had clouded his judgment.

Gaius was standing numbly beside the pyre. He didn't want to be there but it was his duty as court physician, and he felt as if he should be there for Morgana. She was like a daughter to him and he was damned if he would let her suffer alone. He had told Merlin to stay in his room and had put a blanket up over the window so the child would not be able to see anything. The next few moments passed by in a blur, a knight was walking forward with a flaming torch, his expression blank but his eyes revealing his sorrow. Gaius was vaguely aware of a high scream and saw Morgana thrashing wildly as flames began to lick at her ankles.

I am burning. Oh god my leg is burning. I can smell it. Someone help me. It hurts.

Morgana was soon unable to form coherent thoughts, terrible shrieks of pain being wrenched from deep inside her chest.

Gaius felt someone tugging at his robe and looked down, horrified to see Merlin staring at him wide-eyed and trembling. Gaius resisted the urge to scoop the child up. Merlin didn't need to see this. He couldn't let the child see Morgana in so much pain.

"Merlin! What are you doing here? I told you to stay at home. You have to leave right this instant." Merlin shook his head wildly and began to point at the castle's stone steps where Arthur and Uther were standing.

"You can't be with Arthur now. I am sorry but he needs time alone. This is not the place for a child." Gaius reached out to guide Merlin away, desperately trying to block out Morgana's screams. Merlin flinched back and tears began to spill down his cheeks but he continued to point.

Gaius looked up again. Too late. He was just in time to see one of the guards lunge forward and Uther falling to the ground.

Arthur was staring in horror at Morgana, she was screaming but the noise did not reach his ears. He felt numb, almost as if the scene in front of him was not really happening. It was all just a bad dream. He would wake up soon. He tried to convince himself that this was all just a really bad, really realistic dream. But it wasn't. He quickly wiped the tears that were streaming down his face, and that was when he felt something heavy hit his side.

Everything seemed to suddenly speed up and the noises around him blared into life. He could hear screams, cries of shock and a strange gurgling sound coming from the floor next to him.

"Father?" Realization suddenly hit Arthur and without hesitation he drew his sword and plunged it into the chest of the dark-haired guard who had been standing behind them. He knelt down and his hands began frantically scrambling at the wound on his father's side, but part of him already knew he was too late.

"Please. Somebody help!" Arthur felt his breath quickening and began to sob. Damn it all to hell. He was a prince. Princes should not cry, but he couldn't bring himself to try and stop.

In all of the commotion no-one appeared to have noticed that a young boy's eyes had glowed bright gold, that the flames enveloping Morgana had been vanquished, that her flesh had been repaired and that she was no longer tied to the pyre, but was running towards the castle stairs. She too fell down at Arthur's side and began to feel for a pulse.

"Arthur?" Arthur's stricken face looked up for a moment and he just blinked at Morgana. She was alive? Well stranger things had happened recently. Everything had happened so quickly that Arthur was no longer able to process any more information. He was only vaguely aware that he was unable to find the pulse he was searching for.

"Is he…" Morgana could not bear to finish her question and Arthur could not bring himself to answer. No-one could.

...

Arthur was sitting slumped at his table with his head in his hands. Morgana had fallen asleep on a scroll of parchment and Merlin was cross-legged on the floor staring miserably at his hands.

He should have gotten there sooner, should have told Gaius that it was Dean on the steps with Uther and Arthur. 

He should have used his magic to save the king. But he didn't. 

Not that anyone had blamed him, in fact all Arthur had done was to break down thanking Merlin for saving Morgana's life and Morgana had personally thanked him for putting out the flames. To be honest everyone was in a complete state of shock, Merlin included. 

After all of the turmoil that Dean had put him through, he was now lying dead underground. 

Everyone was trying to go back to normal, Arthur had been made the king of Camelot, Morgana was free and taking potions for her nightmares and Gaius was creating potions for colds rather than infected wounds.

Merlin however was finding it much harder to adjust. He still hadn't said a word since he had been taken by Lucifer and Dean and no-one had been allowed close enough to touch him. 

The child would scurry around the castle, avoiding all eye contact and jumping at every slight noise. The knights and Arthur were all doing their best to cheer him up, playing hide and seek or no-contact tag, always allowing Merlin to win, but he had still not calmed down enough to smile, laugh or let down his guard around them.

There were still so many questions left unanswered. There was nothing Gaius and Arthur wanted more than to ask what had happened when Merlin was kidnapped? 

Why wouldn't he talk?

How had he known that Dean was on the steps? 

What could they do to make him happy? 

But they had no way of finding out, at least not until Merlin was in a fit state of mind to tell them.

It was just over three weeks later when Merlin finally spoke.

It happened out of the blue, the child had tripped and fallen down a rabbit hole, twisting his ankle in the process. Merlin had whimpered weakly and thrashed around trying to pull himself out hole. Arthur and the knights had watched in silence until the boy let out an agonised cry. 

That was when Arthur stepped forward quickly. 

He knew that Merlin didn't like people touching him but after seeing the poor child writhing in pain he knew what he had to do. As soon as he felt Merlin tense under his touch Arthur wondered whether he had made the right decision, but instead of screaming and crying Merlin remained quiet and allowed Arthur to lift him out of the hole and hug him tightly to his chest. 

Merlin cried softly as he was laid on the ground and nodded his consent when Gwaine bent down with some bandages to strap his ankle with. Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck and relaxed slightly when Arthur rubbed his back in concentric circles.

"Hey, hey it's alright. I've got you. Everything is ok now. Don't cry Merlin." Arthur wasn't one-hundred percent sure how this breakthrough had occurred but he wasn't going to question it, just hope that Merlin would continue to improve. When they were almost home Merlin pulled back from Arthur slightly, looking him straight in the eye as the king carried him.

"Arthur?" Arthur almost felt his heart stop. 

Merlin had actually spoken and his mouth felt as though he had been chewing on sawdust.

"Y-yes Merlin?"

"Thank you."

"What for?" Merlin didn't answer but rested his head back on Arthur's shoulder, although the skinny arms wrapped around his neck told him all he needed to know. Arthur was certain that if Merlin had spoken again he would not have answered his question about 'what for.' 

He knew that what Merlin really wanted to say was I love you.

After a moment of silence he whispered, "I love you too Merlin," and felt tears of joy prickle in his eyes when the young boy snuggled closer to his flesh and kiss Arthur's cheek softly.

Even if Arthur's questions were not all answered, it didn't matter. 

He would carry on ruling Camelot as best as he could, and the first thing he would do when he got home was sign the last piece of parchment that would legalise the use of magic in Camelot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think <3 Comments are love <3


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